Don't ask if you are not ready for the answer

When I was a young teenager, I remember asking my Dad to make a decision for me although the decision really could have been all mine. He chose an answer that I detested and I proceeded to throw a fit. When he saw my reaction he told me "Never ask a question if you are not prepared for the answer". I have long forgotten the question I asked but I have always remembered his great advice.

If you are a leader or manager this is very important. If you are not prepared to accept the answer to a question you have asked your team, then you should never have asked. Asking and then dismissing can be quite demoralizing.

Recently, my daughter was asked by the leader of her division if she would like the opportunity to take on a new expanded role in the company. He asked her to do some research and paint a picture of what the role and responsibilities would be. Two levels of management above her had left in the course of the previous 9 months, and she had taken on many of their responsibilities but there were more to take on. Her interim performance reviews had been stellar. She took him at his word, went and defined the role, picked a title and found out what the competition paid for a comparable job. She reviewed her findings with me and it all seemed very reasonable. Since she was new to the position, she was going to ask for a a lower than average salary until she could prove that she could handle all aspects of the job. The promotion would result in a $15k increase in salary (yet still $15k below the average salary for the work).

As requested, she sent her findings to the division head in advance of their scheduled meeting. He called her after seeing what she sent, said he was shocked, and there was no way she could possibly expect that she could get that big a raise. He said she should just be grateful for the opportunity he had given her. The meeting did happen but he pretty much said the same thing to her in person as he had said on the phone. Eventually, she got a token raise along with no title change yet he was more than willing to give her all the responsibilities of the job she had defined.  She was also told if she increased profits she could possibly get a raise (but profit sharing bonuses were not available to someone at her level). My daughter told me "well, it was better than a kick in the pants".

Why then had she been asked to "paint a picture"? The only reason that I can come up with is that the division head needed a job description and this was a way to get it. The net result is that although the opportunity is good, it has clearly taught her that he doesn't care and cannot be fully trusted; and she is now somewhat demotivated although still putting in a good effort. My take on what we learned about her division head and her company is pretty colourful in tone and not appropriate for this blog (I have also recommended a resume update). Clearly he never should have asked the question, because he was not prepared for the answer. The result was that a young enthusiastic employee feels under appreciated and overworked. She lost something in the experience; her division head lost something in the experience; and the business lost as well. All because of a question that never should have been asked.

Decision Making

Found this short blog post from Seth Godin on decision and thought it had some very good points. Check it out.

http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/2012/10/waiting-for-all-the-facts.html

The Importance of Team

The team is everything. This is not news. In order to get things done, you need to have a solid team. In order to do great things, you need to have an outstanding team. Most people know this. Most people fully agree with this ... why then do we have so many problems with our teams?

The number one problem I have seen is that people become willing to compromise and take any interchangeable carbon unit just to fill the job. Perhaps they are tired of interviewing (it can be a very tedious process). Perhaps they just figure they will never find the right person so the kinda ok person is fine. But most of the time, no-one is better than the wrong person. It may be hard to see, but there is a real drain on the team to bring a new person up to speed, and to get them going, particularly if they are not a good fit for the team.  The effort of covering the empty spot is often quite a bit less than dealing with a bad fit.

The second problem that I see is that insecurity will stop people from hiring outstanding candidates. I learned a long time ago that you want to surround yourself with individuals who are smarter than you are. It can be intimidating at first, but the results are fantastic. I have seen hiring managers who say they only want A players but in fact they are hiring B+ players so that they maintain the status of the smartest in the room. The difference may appear subtle but the results are not. Development teams should be built of incredibly smart people. 

The third problem is that when hiring managers make a mistake and somehow the wrong person gets on board. Very few are then willing to deal with it in a timely fashion. It is hard to let someone go.  But keeping a bad fit on your team is almost always damaging to the team, the product, and to you (because people either see you as unable to act [i.e. make a f**king decision] or worse, unable to see the issue).

I sympathize with the first problem.  I am struggling with this right now. I am building out an R&D team in a startup. The opportunity for people joining is fantastic, in my humble opinion, because of the responsibility and the potential financial upside. But getting the candidate stream flowing, and finding people with the breadth of skills I would like to have with the right personality fit for the team continues to be an arduous task. 

I keep reminding myself that my patience will pay off. I remind myself that if I do hire the wrong person, I may be stuck with the third problem above - having to remove them from the team. But I am also rethinking the criteria for hiring. I am willing to give up on skills that I would like to have if I can get someone who is smart, adaptable, with the right attitude, solid experience, and who has a personality fit with the rest of the team. Skills can be learned, but you cannot change personalities and you most certainly cannot "teach smart". 

Remember the importance of team. The best way to be successful is to surround yourself with great individuals who mesh together to form a stellar team. 

Are you sure you're not a bad boss (from HBR)

This article lists what makes a bad boss in terms of what they did not do. It is pretty consistent with my views.

http://blogs.hbr.org/cs/2012/08/are_you_sure_youre_not_a_bad_b.html

Make a F**king Decision

You have probably been in a situation where you just wish someone would make a decision so everyone can move forward. It is frustrating. The lack of decision can stop a lot of work, and waste a lot of time.

If you are a leader, you need to be able to make decisions. And you need to make them promptly. The real issue for you may be that there doesn't seem to be enough information to make the right decision. That is often the case; but taking time to get a lot more information can result in delays which may be just as detrimental as the wrong decision.

Early in my career, I used to hem and haw before making a decision. Nine times out of ten, the decision I would have made was the same as the one that I eventually made (but much later). I had to learn to trust my instincts, rely on the advice of others, and take a leap. I also had to learn that when the wrong decision was made, I had to admit I was wrong, suck it up, and reset the course. That may seem hard, but it actually works well. People will appreciate this way of working and will appreciate having you as their leader.

I recently met up with an ex-colleague who said he had not fully understood how great it was to have decisions made until he worked for another manager (after I left) and prompt decisions became rare. In my group, decisions were made quickly and things got done. My colleague hadn't really noticed that anything special was happening - it seemed like the natural way to work. However, when he changed groups, he really noticed the difference. When decisions didn't get made, developers made their own micro-decisions and the group did not all work toward the same goal; the results were terrible - virtually no forward progress was made in months.  I know the managers in this group and they are all good, smart people. What they are not, however, is bold. I have seen them get trapped in "analysis paralysis" more than once. Being decisive takes courage and is hard to do. But it is essential, if you want to be a great leader.

Some good advice I got once from my husband (a colleague at the time) was "Lead, follow, or get out of the way". He had been in the Navy for a while and this was one of many useful lessons he took away (as a side note, he is also an excellent bed maker and can iron like a pro!).  I always remember this. This is a mantra worth repeating and teaching others.

So go out there and make decisions. Lead. Be bold. And occasionally, if you are wrong, admit it, change course, and move on.

P.S. My post title was inspired by Adam Mansbach's book "Go the F**k to Sleep". Check out Samuel Jackson reading this book on YouTube if you are not familiar with the book. It is pretty funny.

Taking Risks

Some people naturally love risk. I have skied, I ride a Harley, I have backpacked through parts of South East Asia but I am not a natural risk taker. Truth be told, I liked to ski on green and blue runs, I bike with full gear all the time, rarely in the city, and never in bad weather or in the dark. And when I went to Asia, I didn't have reservations but I did have detailed plans and always kept to the safe parts of the countries, never traveled alone, and had several guide books with me. I am rarely seen as a risk taker or a thrill seeker in life.

The same was true at work for me. I was naturally inclined to follow the well known paths. But I got good advice early in my career that made me view risk differently at work, and made me more willing to take bigger risks. My greatest successes came when I followed these two simple rules:

1. I was told to trust my own judgement and make things happen. If I saw a new or better way to do things, I should go for it. Leaders lead they don't follow. Sadly, my early tendency was just to complain about what was happening even when I could see a better way. It was much more satisfying and effective to take the risk to lead and fix the problems.
2. More importantly, I was advised that "if your stomach doesn't hurt a little, you probably aren't taking enough risk". A mentor of mine, Randal Leavitt, shared that with me in my late twenties after I told him that I was feeling very queasy on my current project because there were so many unknowns. He pointed out that that was good; with risk will come rewards. He did add that if I felt like vomiting, that was probably too much risk :-). I took his advice and my project was very successful. I still use "the stomach test" to this day as it has never let me down.

If you want to be a leader then you need to take calculated risks. You do not need to take crazy risks but you are not a leader if you just do standard repeatable mundane tasks. Challenge yourself and challenge your teams. Make a difference.

Less confident people are more successful

I liked this article in the HBR.  I am one of those people who consistently questions themselves. Despite being a consistent high achiever, I used to really lack self confidence. But over the years, I learned to trust my judgement and my abilities, and gain a reasonable amount of confidence. But I still avoid "winging it" and like to be prepared, I am still self-critical, and I believe that I rarely seem either arrogant or deluded. Looks like my lack of confidence, which troubled me for some time, was really a helpful trait.